… Just unsuitable clothing (Alfred Wainwright or an old German proverb, but either way it’s so true!)
As we head into autumn our home ed days have to alter slightly. That doesn’t mean we spend more time indoors, probably the opposite; I just have to ensure that I’m more organised and have all the appropriate wet and cold weather gear!
Last Thursday on our weekly visit to Westonbirt Aboretum I was not prepared. In the morning the weather was warm and sunny so we headed to Westonbirt in lightweight clothing with thin waterproofs just in case. Well,as quite often happens at this time of year, the weather changed and it not only began drizzling but it also got bitterly cold! I was freezing. Luckily the big Ps were so busy playing with their friends, whittling and using tools that they didn’t really notice. Piccalilli was warmed up with a big cuddle and we cut our visit short.
Having learnt that the weather is changeable (you’d think I’d know by my age really!) or finally accepted that we are in autumn, I was ultra organised when we visited the SS Great Britain this week 🙂
So off we went to Bristol for the second time in as many weeks (this time by car thankfully!). We had the most amazing glorious sunshine for the morning and thoroughly enjoyed pretending to be Victorian passengers on a huge ship.
We definitely all enjoyed the First Class experience more than the Third Class Steerage accommodation (Pickle was especially freaked out by the sounds and smells being hyper sensitive to them!) The experience has definitely affected them and they wrote a wonderful diary this morning which I will post after this.
After a few hours on the ship we were all hungry so ate our picnic in the sun – I started to wonder why I’d bothered carting a huge, heavy bag of warm tops and waterproof around with me!
After lunch we went under the ship and learnt a bit more about how a steam ship would work. The Ps kept imagining they were working on the ship and I was amazed by their increasing knowledge of technical facts.
After a while my mum and me were craving a cuppa! So we headed up to the cafe for tea, Babychinos and cake. We decided it would be nice to get a bit of fresh air and walk along the waterfront. At which point my bag of preparedness finally came in handy as the rain started just as we left the cafe!
I’ve realised that the easiest thing is to have the bag packed and ready so I can just grab it every time we’re heading out the door. I know as the weather gets colder that the bag will probably get bigger!
I was lucky enough to have five days of ‘Me time’ in Malta a few weeks ago… Since returning I’ve been ill, hence the delay in writing. I’ve also been punished for going away!
I went to Malta with my sister, where we stayed with our Auntie and Uncle (who spend some of the year living over there – lucky them!) We had the most fantastic 5 days, mainly just chilling out and enjoying the sunshine, with a Music Festival and Spa Day thrown in 🙂
Coming home was bittersweet – of course I’d missed everyone, but I could have happily stayed in the warm, slow-paced world for a bit longer. The Stinker surprised me by bringing the Ps to the airport to meet me. Seeing their little faces when I came through the Arrivals gate and I immediately burst into tears! (Cue lots of cooing from the onlookers) Hearing their voices again set me off again; Piccalilli sounded so grown up – how does that happen in such a short period of time?!
We sat and had a welcome home drink (tea of course!) before everyone needed the loo and I was back in Mummy-mode and ushering the Ps in the right direction. In her excitement (well, her usual state!) Pickle ran round the corner and cracked her head on the corner of the Coffee Shop counter (a sharp, marble corner at that). Mummy-mode went to the next level when I noticed the blood gushing out of her head. To cut a long story short, the First Aid and Health and Safety team at Bristol Airport were fantastic and we left about half an hour later thankfully without needing a hospital trip (it was just another knock to the head so it might sort Pickle out?!)
The journey home was lovely and everyone was telling me about the great things they’d been doing with Nanny and Daddy, and enjoyed listening to some of the things I’d seen and done in Malta.
Now, I’m sure most of the parents reading this will recognise this scenario…
The following day the punishment began! The Stinker was in work so we were back to a usual home ed day. Well, everytime I asked anyone to help out with anything you’d think I’d asked them to jump off the building! Everything I offered was not what they wanted. Whenever I tried to comfort them I was pushed away. I had known this could happen from previous trips away and the reading I had done, but I didn’t expect the resentment to be so bad!
When the Stinker came home from work you’d have thought he’d been the one who had been away for five days from the welcome he received! Luckily I was expecting this, but it was still a bit upsetting when Piccalilli wouldn’t let me near her 😦
I guess it took about five days (so the length of time I’d been away) for things to return to normal, but the main thing I had to do was not push them while letting them know I was there for them and not planning on going anywhere else.
I know that Piccalilli is still a little worried that I might go away again after an interesting conversation this week, when I was going to vote:
“Mummy, don’t go away”
“I’m not going anywhere”
“But you said you were going to a boat.”
Every family is different, but here are some ideas to make a trip away, without the little people, run smoothly:
Prepare them for the fact that you will be away for a short time, but don’t tell them too far in advance of the trip. I told the Ps a couple of weeks before I was going, despite the fact that I’d known for months. “Warning children 3 years old and younger too far ahead of time does not help them, especially if the focus is on talking about the parent being gone and for how long,” says Julia Heberle, an associate professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa., and a developmental psychologist. “Children this age have barely mastered time vocabulary, so ‘tomorrow’ can just mean ‘not now,’ or ‘forever away.’ ”
Make home sound more exciting than your trip – I made sure I talked a lot about the fact that Nanny was coming for a sleepover and all of the exciting things they would be doing with her and Daddy while I was away missing out!
Follow their lead and only talk about the trip if they raise the subject. Poppet wanted to know what I’d be doing while I was there, Pickle wanted to help me to pack my case, whereas with Piccalilli it seemed the best option to not discuss it too much!
Keep Goodbyes short and sweet (but always say them and reassure that you are coming home).I was lucky in that I left home at 3am so my proper goodbyes were said at bedtime (although I did sneak kisses and cuddles before I left the house!)
Leave or send little love reminders. Whether you leave notes, a special toy or secret messages on the bathroom mirror or send messages and photos, make sure your children know you will be thinking of them while you are away. I knew that my phoning would have upset the Ps but I still sent photo messages so that they knew what I was getting up to (and I also received photos of them!)
Keep everything as normal as possible at home. This can be hard to do, but it minimises their stress levels. Even though my mom helps out weekly with the Ps, I still left her a run down of the days. I know that Pickle struggled while I was away, but think this would have been even worse if her routine had disappeared too.
Be prepared to be punished when you return! It’s natural to be angry when you love being with someone and they have left. Sometimes children don’t understand how to verbalise their anger at your having gone. If your child ignores you when you come back, you could say something like, “It’s ok to be angry with me for going away. I will always love you.” ❤