It’s been nearly a year since I started writing my blog! Looking back I can see how much more relaxed we are at this stage in our journey. All three girls seem to be happy and the sunny days help my moods 🙂
We’ve had a great week getting properly back into our ‘routine’ and the reduced ‘timetable’ has been great, although we’ve still been hectic and the Ps are currently zoned out for Friday Film Night, giving me an hour to write this while dinner cooks itself!
Monday – Juno went to kindy again, although I’m still staying with her at the moment so didn’t get any time to focus on the big Ps but Nanny did some experiments with them so they were happy 🙂
Tuesday – We spent the morning making pizzas on a home ed trip to Pizza Express, which we then ate in the park in the sunshine. We then went to pony club for the first session back this term. It was very different without our friends there (who have moved to Germany 😦 ) but hopefully we’ll get to know the other people.
Wednesday – Our usual social group had to be cancelled but a large group of us met up in the park, where Poppet still had her cornet lesson!
Thursday – We spent the day at Slimbridge, with Piccalilli’s little friend, looking for the lego creatures.
Friday – The big Ps did tennis this morning and then we went to see friends this afternoon (with a friend each everyone played happily)
It sounds like we did no actual ‘learning’ but in amongst this we spent some time learning about fractions in creative ways and Poppet spent most mornings sewing (having decided to make Christmas presents for the whole family this year!)
I was lucky enough to have five days of ‘Me time’ in Malta a few weeks ago… Since returning I’ve been ill, hence the delay in writing. I’ve also been punished for going away!
I went to Malta with my sister, where we stayed with our Auntie and Uncle (who spend some of the year living over there – lucky them!) We had the most fantastic 5 days, mainly just chilling out and enjoying the sunshine, with a Music Festival and Spa Day thrown in 🙂
Coming home was bittersweet – of course I’d missed everyone, but I could have happily stayed in the warm, slow-paced world for a bit longer. The Stinker surprised me by bringing the Ps to the airport to meet me. Seeing their little faces when I came through the Arrivals gate and I immediately burst into tears! (Cue lots of cooing from the onlookers) Hearing their voices again set me off again; Piccalilli sounded so grown up – how does that happen in such a short period of time?!
We sat and had a welcome home drink (tea of course!) before everyone needed the loo and I was back in Mummy-mode and ushering the Ps in the right direction. In her excitement (well, her usual state!) Pickle ran round the corner and cracked her head on the corner of the Coffee Shop counter (a sharp, marble corner at that). Mummy-mode went to the next level when I noticed the blood gushing out of her head. To cut a long story short, the First Aid and Health and Safety team at Bristol Airport were fantastic and we left about half an hour later thankfully without needing a hospital trip (it was just another knock to the head so it might sort Pickle out?!)
The journey home was lovely and everyone was telling me about the great things they’d been doing with Nanny and Daddy, and enjoyed listening to some of the things I’d seen and done in Malta.
Now, I’m sure most of the parents reading this will recognise this scenario…
The following day the punishment began! The Stinker was in work so we were back to a usual home ed day. Well, everytime I asked anyone to help out with anything you’d think I’d asked them to jump off the building! Everything I offered was not what they wanted. Whenever I tried to comfort them I was pushed away. I had known this could happen from previous trips away and the reading I had done, but I didn’t expect the resentment to be so bad!
When the Stinker came home from work you’d have thought he’d been the one who had been away for five days from the welcome he received! Luckily I was expecting this, but it was still a bit upsetting when Piccalilli wouldn’t let me near her 😦
I guess it took about five days (so the length of time I’d been away) for things to return to normal, but the main thing I had to do was not push them while letting them know I was there for them and not planning on going anywhere else.
I know that Piccalilli is still a little worried that I might go away again after an interesting conversation this week, when I was going to vote:
“Mummy, don’t go away”
“I’m not going anywhere”
“But you said you were going to a boat.”
Every family is different, but here are some ideas to make a trip away, without the little people, run smoothly:
Prepare them for the fact that you will be away for a short time, but don’t tell them too far in advance of the trip. I told the Ps a couple of weeks before I was going, despite the fact that I’d known for months. “Warning children 3 years old and younger too far ahead of time does not help them, especially if the focus is on talking about the parent being gone and for how long,” says Julia Heberle, an associate professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa., and a developmental psychologist. “Children this age have barely mastered time vocabulary, so ‘tomorrow’ can just mean ‘not now,’ or ‘forever away.’ ”
Make home sound more exciting than your trip – I made sure I talked a lot about the fact that Nanny was coming for a sleepover and all of the exciting things they would be doing with her and Daddy while I was away missing out!
Follow their lead and only talk about the trip if they raise the subject. Poppet wanted to know what I’d be doing while I was there, Pickle wanted to help me to pack my case, whereas with Piccalilli it seemed the best option to not discuss it too much!
Keep Goodbyes short and sweet (but always say them and reassure that you are coming home).I was lucky in that I left home at 3am so my proper goodbyes were said at bedtime (although I did sneak kisses and cuddles before I left the house!)
Leave or send little love reminders. Whether you leave notes, a special toy or secret messages on the bathroom mirror or send messages and photos, make sure your children know you will be thinking of them while you are away. I knew that my phoning would have upset the Ps but I still sent photo messages so that they knew what I was getting up to (and I also received photos of them!)
Keep everything as normal as possible at home. This can be hard to do, but it minimises their stress levels. Even though my mom helps out weekly with the Ps, I still left her a run down of the days. I know that Pickle struggled while I was away, but think this would have been even worse if her routine had disappeared too.
Be prepared to be punished when you return! It’s natural to be angry when you love being with someone and they have left. Sometimes children don’t understand how to verbalise their anger at your having gone. If your child ignores you when you come back, you could say something like, “It’s ok to be angry with me for going away. I will always love you.” ❤
I find it really interesting chatting to people, usually with grown-up children, who wish they’d realised that home education was an option… After just over a year in the world of home ed I know I am not an expert, but I certainly feel much more confident (as do the Ps!) when answering questions and discussing the route we have taken.
We are, of course, still discovering ‘how’ we do things; it changes regularly and can be different day to day!
But one thing I know is that I left the teaching profession (and then removed my children from it) for a reason. When people say “Oh, you’re a teacher so you know what you’re doing”, I find it quite amusing.
We most definitely don’t do ‘school at home’ (although that is one route that some home educating families take) – when I said this to a pilates’ friend last week, she responded “Oh, so where do you do school?” When I explained that what I meant was that we don’t have a rigid timetable and don’t spend hours doing sit-down learning, rather we learn through the activities we are doing (with some sit-down learning when the Ps request it), she seemed slightly shocked (“Doesn’t someone check up on you?”) but even more keen on the idea!
We are ALL learning all the time – we don’t need to be sitting at a desk listening to one person talk and then completing a comprehension (or memory) task based on what we have heard. I am passionate about helping my children to become learners, to be inquisitive, to be capable of getting by in life, to be confident in who they are.
I really want the Ps to grow up to be independent learners, keen to find out about the world in which they live, without having to be pushed to learn (often pointless) information. Most of the learning we do is child-directed – they tell me what they are interested in and I facilitate their learning of that topic. Some days we follow our ‘topic’; some days we find out about something random inspired by a walk or visit; some days we don’t appear to be learning much!
But I am sure that most of the time the Ps aren’t being idle… Pickle isn’t as keen to ‘learn’ in the formal sense of the word as Poppet, but some of the facts that she shares amaze me and make me realise that she is definitely an independent learner who does pick up and awful lot of knowledge in her own way (usually physically!). And Piccalilli is already showing signs of loving learning (she often asks for her own books to do ‘writing’ and loves answering questions about the stories we have shared!), which I believe is heightened due to being brought up in a learning environment.
I have always loved learning, but remember very few ‘facts’ (I just don’t think my brain works that way!) I am sure that the Ps will grow up to be incredible, independent learners 🙂
A few pictures of that past week’s ‘learning’ activities:
Pickle adores young children! A lovely day spent at Slimbridge WWT this week saw her making friends with lots of 3-5 year olds and being kind and caring but with a lot of fun and silliness in her play with them; as always she was very popular! We also got a lot of comments from people about how the Ps were generally very friendly, sociable and eloquent. When I explained to a few that they were home educated their responses ranged from “Oh that explains it then” to one of wanting to find out more as a possibility for their own child’s future. It feels great to be in a position where I now feel confident enough to discuss our own journey into home ed and our first year, sharing the great parts and the occasional pitfalls with interested people. The ducks didn’t really get much of a look-in on this trip but that’s ok ’cause we’ll probably be there again next week!
Pickle’s adoration of animals might be even stronger than of young children and, although she loves dogs (and regularly asks for one as a pet), she is slightly nervous of them after having been bitten three times! We have a lot of friends, neighbours and family with dogs so the Ps get a lot of contact with them, but Pickle was still very jumpy when we went to a friend’s house this week and her little dog (I mean tiny!) was running and jumping up. I was exactly the same when I was little so I empathise hugely with how she feels. Despite her nervous start, by the end of our time with our friends Pickle was cuddling and playing with the dog 🙂 And once again asking when we could get one!
We spend a lot of time digging! I’ve been doing a lot of gardening over the past week, with a lot of ‘help’ from the Ps. Pickle particularly enjoys making mud pies! The little bed that I’ve given over to them to grow whatever they would like won’t have any soil left in it soon… I was chatting to a friend about how much muddier, and happier, Pickle has been recently! She really is better off when she can be outdoors getting messy – I’m just glad we have the space for her to do so… I only wish we had a utility room so the dirty clothes didn’t have to be trailed through the house (saying that, this week a lot of the muddy play has been done in the nuddy!!)
So, my dilemmas… The Ps are all so happy at the moment but I’ve just signed Piccalilli up for her free hours at a lovely, little, local playgroup (the same one the big Ps went to in fact) from September. This isn’t a dilemma in itself as I think she’ll really love it, but if she doesn’t she won’t have to go. It just throws up lots of other dilemmas for me… e.g. If the big Ps had stayed in school, now would be the time I’d be looking for jobs to start from September – that isn’t what I want to be doing, but I do feel the need to contribute to our family; I know, I’m educating our children but we still need money! I’m also aware that I need to stop stressing about it because it just makes me unhappy and grumpy and a pain to live with – Sorry Stinker ❤
Recently we received a checklist from the health visitors for Piccalilli’s 2 year check. I personally do not feel that it is necessary to start assessing children so young, but I do understand the reasons for trying to identify issues early.
For us, with Piccalilli being our third child, we feel quite confident that she is developing well and have no worries, but it was interesting to read the skills that children of her age are expected to have and more interesting to see the things that don’t make the list… it also made me think about the level of concern these sorts of lists might evoke in some parents.
For example, it is apparently important to be able to stack seven blocks on top of each other and to be able to tidy up after yourself 🙂 (a very important skill!) Whereas brushing your teeth or using the toilet don’t make the list…
Of course, I am fully aware of the necessity to gain a full range of skills in the overall development of a child (I studied child development and Psychology) and I was most interested in the Communication and Language section. We have felt for some time that Piccalilli’s language is well-developed (which is probably due to having two chatterboxes for older sisters!)
Piccalilli was able to exceed all of the activities in this section, e.g. follow simple instructions, point to seven (what is it about seven?!) body parts and make simple sentences – these are meant to be 3 or 4 words long but Piccalilli’s are longer as she has followed in her big sisters’ footsteps and doesn’t often stop talking!
But I found it interesting that the type of language used was not mentioned. I know this comes from the influences you have around you but I find it fascinating to hear the words and sentences that Piccalilli is choosing to use already. Her sentences can seem very mature at times – “When it is dark we go to Mummy and Daddys’ window to watch fireworks” – and she is already beginning to find toilet humour hilarious, just like Pickle! It amazes me the things she picks up (mainly from Pickle): Poopy pants, big bum, stinky pops! It also interested me that humour was not mentioned once in the Social/Emotional behaviours on the checklist.
Positive and negative language also strikes me as an important development. Again learnt from her big sisters, Piccalilli often tells us she loves us or hates us, depending on the situation, therefore seeming to understand her use of these words. She also likes to call her sisters ‘stupid idiots’ (which I guess they are for teaching her the words!) but it upsets me hugely – although I have to avoid showing her my upset as it just prompts her to do it more! I am aware that she is just trying out words that she has heard, but I know that neither of her big sisters were using this type of language, in context, at her age… but I guess that neither of them had a much bigger sister around to learn from and copy!
It will be interesting to see how much she shows her true ability/self when we meet with the health visitor – will she clam up or will she call her ‘poopy pants’?! Wish me luck 😉
This weekend we’ve all been going in different directions, literally!
Yesterday morning I dropped Poppet at her first Beavers’ camp and first night away without family. She was very excited but understandably apprehensive…
Since the Stinker picked her up this afternoon she hasn’t stopped talking about all the different activities she had a go at, including archery and climbing. Her leaders mentioned to the Stinker how great she’d been getting stuck into everything – brilliant!
After dropping Poppet off I met my good friend and Piccalilli’s best buddy. We spent a much needed, relaxing morning in a lovely, local town eating brunch and wandering around the shops getting inspiration for (dare I say it?!) Christmas. Piccalilli and my friend’s little Pudding are so cute together, pretending to be dogs – they could almost be twins!
While we were out, the Stinker and Pickle were buying materials and building a new roof for our chickens’ run to keep them warm through winter! Pickle was in her element getting one-on-one time with her Daddy.
When I got home the Stinker headed into the big city to have a night out with old friends – a very rare occurrence.
I was very excited to all get back together this afternoon but, of course, it wasn’t all lovely and rosy… The Stinker was feeling slightly jaded! Poppet and Pickle wanted to play board games but then couldn’t agree on anything. They are typical siblings – when they get on they are best mates; when they don’t they are worst enemies, and very loud ones!
I realise that time apart is good (as I wrote about in Time apart, time together) and I also realise that it will happen more and more the older the 3 Ps get and the more different directions their lives take them in…